It’s been a long time since I last go out to catch up with friends to have a quality time together. When was my last date if I can recall properly? Hmm, I guess it was Year 2010. Sigh. Weekends is also the time where I don’t get the chance to talk to anyone and do the same old things, week after week. Here are some of the things that I spend my weekends on: playing games, researching, programming and honing my hacking skills. Even my mom goes out during the weekend with her friends/relatives, leaving me at home all alone.
If I am truly being frank with myself, I would say that I have no life. Deep inside, I am feeling sad and miserable even though I have learned to control my feelings. I have been feeling dead for almost 3 years and the things what I’m trying to do is to prove to someone that no longer exist in my life anymore. When I’m in school, I pretend as though I don’t need others but in reality I yearn to have someone whom I could really trust and talk to, if possible I would like to be in love with that person. I just need that one person to show up in my life and I promise that I will protect and cherish the person with all my life.
Things are still the same after 3 years except that I now have the passport to go uni. However, I am the same old miserable person. If my life continues to be like this, I can’t see myself living in the next two years.